I’ve been thinking lately, I have been taking care of babies since I was sixteen years old. Crazy stuff huh?
Yup, I married David at sixteen and he wasn’t much older, he was eighteen. I have been taking care of people my entire life. I am the oldest of three, I have two little sisters…I remember always having to take care of them too, and my cousins. I am tired of taking care of people. So. Very. Tired. I love my kids, I love them so much, but I am utterly exhausted.
And because we spaced our children out in a very odd way, I get to experience the entire spectrum of kids.
Terrible Two- Check.
Jerkholio Three- Check
Butthead Nine- Check
Know Everything Twelve- Check
Aren’t you jealous of me? Come on I know you are.
I am not selfish, I’m not. Anyone who knows me knows this about me. But I just had to write this down to feel better. And, you know what? I do. I feel better.
Fuck anyone who wants to give me shit about being tired of my kids. It’s been a really long five months and we aren’t even halfway through this fucking nightmare deployment.
Onto happier news…I am down another size and my diet is rocking. I can walk a flight of stairs without feeling like my heart is going to fall out of my chest. So, yay for me. I am on my way to not being a fat cow anymore.
Ok first of all… congratulations on the weight loss! That is such an accomplishment. You rock girl.
Secondly… ok trying not to make it all about me, but you know what? I even get sick of taking care of my kids sometimes… and I have the support of my husband and my family who are right here with me. I am not stuck in a state away from my family and my husband isn’t thousands of miles away. You have every right to express the feelings you are having right now. You are their sole provider in this moment. Of course you’re run down. Anyone who’d talk bullshit is completely oblivious to the realities of your world. Fuck them.
I’m wishing a long ass weekend at a spa alone or something for you. Too bad you weren’t here. I’d totally take a couple of your little angels off your hands for a night or two. Give yourself some more credit. You deserve it!
By: Tiffany on May 7, 2008
at 11:04 pm
Hey, your back to blogging again….yaY!! I am so happy that your losing weight, Congrats!! I am taking up Biking, in case you wantto go riding with me sometime, I have the kids in a trailer and I go slow, it is just so nice to get out of the gym and off the treadmill sometimes….
TTYL
By: Kelly Jean on May 18, 2008
at 3:48 am
Yeah, what TIffany said. My husband comes home every night and I still bitch (did I mention there was a lack of nap-time going on for one of my girls as of late?). If anyone ever gives you a hard time for venting you may rest assured that one of two things will/are happening…1. the person will ultimately suffer a nervous break-down from hiding their true feelings and/or 2. they are so heavily medicated they are delusionally believing that life is all roses.
You are a perfectly normal, healthy, mom and we love you the way you are.
By: The Kept Woman on May 21, 2008
at 12:10 pm
Yep, I agree with Kept Woman- TOTALLY NORMAL. Better to vent, it’s healthy : )
By: brightonandbear on May 21, 2008
at 8:54 pm
Oh Stella Bella, it’s ok to feel this way. Vent it out, vent it out. If all else fails, just lock them in the cellar…er, I mean, get out of the house, yeah, that’s what I meant. LOL. Oh, and YAY on the weight loss! Tiffany and I are SUPPOSED to start being email workout buddies…TIFF????
By: Jenn on June 22, 2008
at 4:00 am
I do hope you enjoyed your time home with him. Taking him back to the freakin’ post was the hardest thing we ever did. Now it is a countdown to homecoming!
Congrats on the weightloss! You go girl.
By: tommie on July 25, 2008
at 1:03 am