So, my baby thinks she’s fat and is completely obsessing about dieting and working out. Some stupid boy at school called her “fat”. I hate boys. HATE THEM. I am working on convincing her that she is NOT fat, far from it. I just want her to be healthy, I don’t want her going to extremes because she cares what stupid boys think. But, she’s a girl, I know where her thoughts are coming from. I am almost thirty and I still care what boys think. I hate boys. 
She is driving me absolutely nuts though. NUTS.
I am glad she has this innocence about her that I didn’t have at her age, I was so cynical and knew so much more about life at her age. I’m not sure if David and I have almost sheltered her. She is the best kid ever, we couldn’t ask for a better daughter. She is polite, gets awesome grades, respects us, listens to us, openly talks to us, all of our friends compliment us on what a lovely young lady she is blossoming into. We are pretty strict parents and expect her to show us her best, ALWAYS.
But, she isn’t very good at standing up for herself.
She is her mother’s daughter. I still don’t stand up for myself. I’m getting better at it though.
I don’t want it to take her another 15 years to find her voice. I am trying to teach her how to handle social situations a tad more…what’s the word? Assertive, I suppose.
But, I don’t want her to get all “Crazy Mexican-White girl” on people. I want her to stand up for herself in a manner that she can be proud of. Ughhhh. Frustrating, I wish David was here to help. He is so much more distinguished than me (with words that is). I like to use phrases like ”kiss my ass and go to hell”.
Doesn’t my demeanor just tell you how diplomatic I am?
Suggestions Appreciated.
*Love that picture*
Oh man, if she doesn’t start to stand up for herself now, it is only going to get worse. I’m sure you remember my Jr High/High school plight. But, seeing as I went through that I do remember how hard it was to stand up for myself. Hell, I even have that problem a bit now, as an adult. With my girls, I just relayed to them the really watered down versions of my struggles as a child, trying to get them to see how hard life will be for them if they allow other kids to be bitches to them. Dani has started to come out of herself a little and is starting to stand up for herself and her friends.
I have kept my girls VERY sheltered too, Stella. My girls come home at times saying they were made fun of for not knowing who people are, like Michael Jackson or Eminem or Freddy Krueger. Dani is just now finally able to get on the internet, have a myspace (closely monitored by me), and dress a little more like she wants to. Sometimes I feel I have hindered their growth by keeping them away from all the bad stuff. I just think back to myself, I knew the ways of the world when I was my daughter’s age. But, I also read A LOT, and my mom talked to me about stuff. I also had a drunk father, learned really early about cheating spouses, alcoholism, drug use in parents, finding my dad’s porno stash, my mom’s MS, molestation, money issues… because I knew of all this when I was a kid I went out of my way to protect my girls from so much of it. Like your kids, mine have been so sheltered. I remember watching The Exorcist when I was like 8 or 9. I wouldn’t dream of letting my girls watch that at that age! What I’m learning now though is that it can hurt them a little to not know about some of those things. I have slowly started allowing them to know a little more, but of course, it comes from me or Will, and there has to be a valid reason for giving them the knowledge.
Kids SUCK! In terms of making us feel like shit about our bodies. I talk to my girls over and over about their bodies, and try to give them good body image. I don’t know how much of it has sunk in though. I don’t think I have too much advice in that area. It’s good for her to be thinking of working out and eating healthy, but only for the sake of making her healthier, and not just to make sure that she “looks good” to the other kids. I wouldn’t try to stop her working out, but make sure she understands that dieting will not make any difiference, it’s the healthy eating habits that will.
By: Tiffany on August 27, 2008
at 4:46 pm
Kids are so mean. Boys are beyond that. Sadly, as women we DO care what they think and we DO listen to what they say. (Then we grow older and wiser and figure out that they are all full of shite, but that’s another post)
She is beautiful and perfect just as she is.
You are right to have her practice asserting herself and standing up for who she is.
I agree, go for “healthy” not meth-waif like.
By: brightonandbear on September 22, 2008
at 1:06 am