She is driving me absolutely nuts though.  NUTS.

I am glad she has this innocence about her that I didn’t have at her age, I was so cynical and knew so much more about life at her age.  I’m not sure if David and I have almost sheltered her.  She is the best kid ever, we couldn’t ask for a better daughter.  She is polite, gets awesome grades, respects us, listens to us, openly talks to us, all of our friends compliment us on what a lovely young lady she is blossoming into. We are pretty strict parents and expect her to show us her best, ALWAYS.

 But, she isn’t very good at standing up for herself. 

She is her mother’s daughter.  I still don’t stand up for myself.  I’m getting better at it though.

I don’t want it to take her another 15 years to find her voice.  I am trying to teach her how to handle social situations a tad more…what’s the word? Assertive, I suppose. 

But, I don’t want her to get all “Crazy Mexican-White girl” on people.  I want her to stand up for herself in a manner that she can be proud of.  Ughhhh.  Frustrating,  I wish David was here to help.  He is so much more distinguished than me (with words that is).  I like to use phrases like ”kiss my ass and go to hell”.  

Doesn’t my demeanor just tell you how diplomatic I am?

Suggestions Appreciated. 

So, he was home, we had tons of fun, and he left.  This was in the airport, we went to AZ for a week of his leave.  We will NOT be doing that again.  I am hoping we don’t have to do Iraq again.

The girls have started school and so far it has gone well.  Ashley tried out for volleyball and didn’t make the team.  She was ok about it and is going to stay on the “Developmental Team” until next year.  No breakdown, just a bit of saddness, she is such a big girl.  And, Riah has had an awesome start…she really likes her teacher this year, I am so glad.  And, her Special Education teacher is so patient and sweet. We are off to a great start.

Bleh- Crabby kid, will write more later.

He will be home on his R&R soon and I can’t wait.  We are all so excited.  It has been seven long months since we’ve seen him. 

Although, I am kind of a Debbie Downer, he isn’t even here yet and I’m already obsessing over him having to return to that shithole country. 

Yup, I married David at sixteen and he wasn’t much older, he was eighteen.  I have been taking care of people my entire life.  I am the oldest of three, I have two little sisters…I remember always having to take care of them too, and my cousins.  I am tired of taking care of people.  So. Very. Tired.  I love my kids, I love them so much, but I am utterly exhausted. 

And because we spaced our children out in a very odd way, I get to experience the entire spectrum of kids. 

Terrible Two- Check.

Jerkholio Three- Check

Butthead Nine- Check

Know Everything Twelve- Check

Aren’t you jealous of me? Come on I know you are.

I am not selfish, I’m not.  Anyone who knows me knows this about me.  But I just had to write this down to feel better.  And, you know what? I do.  I feel better. 

Fuck anyone who wants to give me shit about being tired of my kids.  It’s been a really long five months and we aren’t even halfway through this fucking nightmare deployment.

Onto happier news…I am down another size and my diet is rocking.  I can walk a flight of stairs without feeling like my heart is going to fall out of my chest.  So, yay for me. I am on my way to not being a fat cow anymore.

I had my wisdoms removed today and am full of drugs! I have felt absolutely no pain, which is good.  And, I want it to stay that way.  And…the best part.  My doctor/dentist was HOTT.  Like uber older guy hot. Total DILF.  Which made this whole experience so much better.  And, he gave me the good stuff (I’m talking meds here people!) haha.   

I was so scared to go in and have them removed, like I was really worried.  I always have a mini-anxiety attack of some sort when anything involved anesthesia or removing organs.  I’m kinda weird like that.  So, yeah I was cleaning like crazy, getting sippy cups and bags ready, feeling all sorry for myself like I was dying…and then I remembered things could be worse and I could be where my David is…..

Yup…then I got over my pity party.

So, here’s to hoping I still feel this good tomorrow.

A very tired me.  Time change sucks!

I have about 6 weeks to kick my boys out of my bed!

My hubby will be home for R&R sometime in April, and I don’t want no stinking kids in my bed!

Yes, thing two is missing from this picture.  He had to run off and play.  Butthead.  

My David is missing too. 

I hate taking pictures without him,  but this is our life right now.  Even if it sucks.  I know I probably sound like a whiny, Debbie Downer.  I know I can live without him, I just don’t want to.   

Thing 1 and Thing 2.  This is what trouble looks like.  No joke.

This is what he was doing when he was supposed to be sleeping.  Destroying the playroom.  This kid isn’t happy unless all of his surroundings are complete chaos. 

Although, a friend did put my thoughts into perspective over Christmas.  He always has a way of making you realize things could be worse.  I was doing my usual pissing and moaning about what a terror Thing 2 was.  And, he says to me “I know kids can be tough, however our friends just found out their son is going completely deaf, and they aren’t sure why?” At that point I knew to shut my pie-hole.  My baby is healthy.  Slightly possessed by the “bad baby monster” but healthy.  And, I should be thankful. 

They are all missing him.  But, I think she especially misses him.  Probably because she is most like him.  She is NOTHING like me.  We have been having “talks” and he’s not sure he can miss more of their lives.